Mom guilt and being overwhelmed…. sound familiar? THE STRUGGLE IS REAL! You may have heard me talk on Instagram over the past year about how sometimes I feel like I can barely carry my head above water because I am drowning in my to do list. Being the most demanded girl in the house has its challenges too, right?! All I could tell myself this year was that there IS a light at the end of this tunnel and as cliche as it sounds, “this too shall pass.”
This year I felt like I put in 60% (even though looking back, it was so much more than that). I have a type-A personality, so basically if I am not doing a million big things, I feel like I am falling behind and not content with myself. I define success as going above and beyond, but this year I had to be still in so many ways which was such a daunting task for a busy body like me. My type-A girls, you know what I mean?!
I feel most comfortable talking about the happy and positive stuff so this makes me squirm a bit in my chair as I type this, but the way I remember 2016 was with growing pains. 2016 = endless nights (can someone remind me what sleep feels like again?), feeling crummy, figuring out with Andy how to roll with the changes (that was a little straining on us), and going through the motions and hormones of having another little one…. 2016 was tough. I thought I could do it all… I wanted to do it all… but sometimes you get stopped in your tracks even when you’re not ready. The stress has especially taken a toll on my physical health, and I am already in the process of changing how I eat and starting an exercise routine to feel better again. It’s definitely one of my most challenging years to remember. But I know things that are worth having are hard and not everything is supposed to be easy – right?!
But on the positive side (YAY) we are finally a family of 4, Charlie is doing so well in school (raise the roof), Claire is a healthy growing machine, “for better or worse” has a whole new meaning, I’ve learned more than ever about how important it is to take care of yourself (no more last minute drive thru meals for me lol), I feel more authentic than ever with our rebrand, we signed with a phenomenal talent agency (YAY), and I am embracing more real life meaningful relationships. Okay so that’s just skimming the surface as a reel into our lives, but I have to tell you, I’ve learned that the opportunities that make you squirm can be some of the most rewarding learning experiences. That is how I feel about 2016.
But on the brightest side… I don’t know what drastically changed in my life to cause this shift but these past 2 weeks something truly has lifted and shifted. I feel calm, content, and like everything is going to be okay! I don’t feel guilty for not being there while Andy is with Claire and Charlie while I go to work. I feel so blessed to be self employed but on the same token, I would feel so guilty leaving the kids because I was the boss. ;) I don’t know how to quite explain all of this to you, but the best way I can say it is that the feeling of constantly feeling uneasy and feeling like the every day is a daunting task is gone. Simply said, I feel like I am out of the woods and I have arrived in a pink bakery with the best treats. Basically, in my comfort zone. ;)
As we are tying up 2016 and entering a brand new year (hello 2017!), I am excited to embrace a fresh start of balance, joy, simplifying, spontaneous fun, working hard, and being kinder to myself! How are you re-capping 2016? What are you ready for in 2017?
These photos were taken 5 months ago when Claire was 7 months old! I was on complete overwhelm (as I was referencing above) but still able to relish the joys and little moments! Looking back, I realize my kids were one of the only things that truly brought me joy and helped me escape that feeling of having a never ending to do list! ;) Just having a moment experiencing life through their lens makes my heart more full than I can explain, you know that feeling?
Photography for Best Friends for Frosting by Two Twenty Photos.